Life.

April 27, 2013 § 18 Comments

The words will never
come out of my mouth. I
assure you.
I’ve tried enough to make
you understand. You,
do NOT want to. I realise.

That’s how it ends then,
i guess. That’s how a life
form is killed and burnt
even before it can open its
eyes and look at the ugly
world, amazed.

They tell me to move on
with life. What life, again?

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Negativity-II.

January 25, 2013 § 61 Comments

there’s a reason why i don’t read so many blogs anymore.

no really, i’d like to.

but there’s nothing out there for me.

 

there is an inherent lack of emotion.

no feeling. no love.

 

it’s usually some cribby stuff about some stuff that some people care about.

i don’t care about politics or your favourite song.

i care about yourself.

 

tell me about you. what’s on your mind?

you don’t need to write about topics. fuck em. you, are everything.

 

sit down and tell me about your thoughts. not your fucking day.

everyone lives the same day, yours isn’t any more significant than mine.

what’s special is your interpretation.

 

maybe you don’t feel as happy as you normally do? is it?

that’s what i care about.

 

create the illusion of love and i’d read you.

that’s what real writing is. how you make me feel.

 

make me feel special.

you can only do that by being personal and offering me something that i don’t have.

not knowledge or insight, i have a brain.

 

your experience. i want it.

Memories.

December 12, 2012 § 14 Comments

The letter she would write to him
The happy memories they were to create
The curtains she was to choose for their room
The wines they were to collect
The crystal bowls she was to love
The Bayern posters he was to adore
The saree she was to wear for their engagement
The quotes of marriage they were to laugh over
The unconditional love she was to recieve from his parents
The old, old dictionary his paa was to gift her
The home they were to build together.

In minutes it was gone.
Burnt to ashes by the fire they set on it.

Do you still see the memories we
have to make, when you look into my eyes?

Fire.

November 13, 2012 § 34 Comments

The fire that i start
is the one i let kill me.
I inhale its toxicity
because its mine and
mine alone.

It consummates me
and burns me organ by
organ. You, stand right
there watchin’ me,
muted. Afraid to speak
or weak hearted.
I will never know.

You know where my heart
burns, and i know where
your thoughts are
sinking.

That should be enough.

Winter.

November 7, 2012 § 17 Comments

I tried to stitch myself into
it, but nothing held.
I am okay. It’s just that before
felt like a million rainbows,
superimposed over each other.
And i linger, as if still waiting
for them to magically reappear.

It was this hour, just as early
darkness fell, that you would come
to me. With your clarity, and your
carefree-ness. Stepping into the
wall i’d built. Slowly. And steadily.

I am okay. It’s just that i have been
impatient. Very much. I thought
i knew everything you didn’t tell,
and understood everything you did.
And i believed things will be fine,
with time. Silly, silly girl.

What is can be as elusive as
what is not. Both beguile, and
neither stays. Or sticks. I am lost
in this transition.
From what we were, to what we
are, to what we will be.

It is winter here.
And unquiet.

Scattered.

November 1, 2012 § 38 Comments

You appeared like a
Mills & Boons hero
with a bag of tricks
and some fortune cookie advice.

I smiled.

You ushered into me
like a wave that doesn’t
know when to stop.
Or, stop hurting.

Still, i smiled.

Laying in my own defeat
for nights
turning into months
haunted by the memories
of us.

Again, i smiled.

Could you,
before you return
pick up the scattered leaves
and make me beautiful again?

Never.

October 19, 2012 § 30 Comments

Awakened with a broken heart
she doesn’t feel a thing:
the cool breeze, the rain that
falls harshly on the tin roof,
the lightning that gives her
a mini heart attack.

She only watches.
And she sees lingering darkness,
dark clouds in her skies.
Never will her heart be unbroken
Never will she fall in love again
Never will she embrace someone to bare her soul.

Never.

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