Proximity.

August 28, 2012 § 46 Comments

 

 

I feel the wings growing
on my back. I want to
fly. Fly away from
here.That thing up there
calls me. It tells me to
soar high. Away.

Down here i wear two masks.
One of love, coloured stripes.
The mask that makes me
fall in love with you each
time you smile. That makes
me feel complete when you’re
around. The other mask: grey.
My grey wings in a grey
sky. The nothingness. And
the dispassion. That pulls
me away from you, and
what we have together.

I stand at the mountain
top, thinking it’s just time.
Time to say good-bye and
fly away. To nowhere and
everywhere. To grey skies.

But then i look at you
and the love in your
eyes. You call out my name
in that voice that melts
my heart away.
‘Love’, you say, ‘come here.’
I curl up my wings and
sit on the ground, weeping.
How could i think there
was a place away from here?
From you?
You are where i belong,
where i want to be. I crawl
back, into those arms
that only want to hold me.

‘Love isn’t a cage or a
leash or a chain. It is, perhaps,
a flexible cord. Trust it, nurture
it, and don’t pull away. It will
help us both fly. Separately, yet
deeply connected.’, you tell
me. With love in those
eyes, that makes me skip
a heartbeat.

And i realise this is home.

 

 

 

 

 

Depth-II.

August 20, 2012 § 35 Comments

Standing on the line that
divides my heart and my head
Numbed by doubt and anxiety
after nights of mind-fucking
Relieved to not feel the pain,
the cold
Longing to be released from
this utter sadness
Caught in a storm of thoughts
that lead me nowhere
Drowning in self-doubt
and confusion every night
And yet not drowning, so there
is scope to be inflicted again
The dreams become awful,
the shadows haunt me
I only feel myself sinking in
depths as i write this.

 

 

 

Am I not?

August 7, 2012 § 33 Comments

 

Photo Credit: http://www.facebook.com/pensive.polaroid

In stark black lines over black
The cane toy-raven
With lumps and warts drawn as rounds
Inked black eyes
With wings ready to take me away
Ah! and that blackness
A beak that lets me suck my own joy
And my hoarse cry that startles me at times.
Am i not, too,
made for someplace?

Untitled- V.

July 21, 2012 § 25 Comments

Huddled around the tiny fire
of my longing
Always wanting to be somewhere
i am not
Loving with an incomprehensible
intensity
Falling in love at the drop
of a hat
Altering each poem a
hundred times
Carefully scanning my life
and the people
Making promises i do not
want to keep
Meeting people just to escape
from myself
Observing everyone and
being observed
Ushering my dreams out of the
window for a while.

I meet you a some festival.
You. With the same dreams,
longings and love.
We either recoil. Or fall in love.
Or both.

We e mail each other. And
one day you stop replying.
Maybe because i have no money
or i dont have a flat stomach
or you’re just bored.
I wouldn’t know.

Or maybe you’re throwing
your dreams out of the
window, too.

100.

July 16, 2012 § 41 Comments

So this, is my 100th post on this blog. Woah, i still cant believe i have managed to post so much in less than a year!

I seriously didn’t know what should i write in the 100th, so i thought i’d just thank all the special people in life!

I cant do the cliché i want to thank my family thing. No thankyouverrymuch! I mean i love em and all, but not here! 😛

But there is one person i would want to thank, that’d be my brother. I look up to him in almost every respect, though i hate to admit it. He does read my poetry sometimes, and NEVER asks why’d i write it. Thank you bro, you mean the world to me! 🙂 And you know it!!

And well, among the regular friends i have, i must thank
Nitin, for being an asshole
DJ for all the motherly concern
Akshi for understanding without me having to say it
Nikhil for never reading my blog 😛
Neha for all the mindfucking
Sanjoli for not letting the bitch in me die
Kiki for being a good daughter 😀
Rameet for just being there
Abhishek for hating my blog
Gaurav & Gunjan for being awesome buddies
Irfan for bearing with me
Anjali, Mastak, Prachi, Shreya and Riddhi for not changing; despite the distances
Vaibhav for always reading it and telling me nice things that he doesn’t always mean
Vipul for being the reason i have a blog. 🙂

Thank you guys. Each one of you means a lot to me!!

And among the virtual friends i have, i want to thank everyone who’s connected for being a constant inspiration. I read the comments you write and they lift me up when i am down, or elate me when i am happy.
If it weren’t for you people, i would not have known me. Thank you. For everything!
🙂

As Robert Frost said:
“Being a poet is a condition, and not a profession”;
i guess i’ll continue with this bit. For a while, certainly!

Different.

May 20, 2012 § 28 Comments

I wonder if i had camouflaged
my words instead of being so
direct, would things be
different?

If i had understood what you
wanted to convey when you
pushed me away, would we
still be talking?

If i hadnt been hurt by your
sudden silence and aloofness,
would i still be waiting for
you?

I wonder if things would
have been different,
if i was different.
Or you had a different point of view.

No expectations.

May 1, 2012 § 17 Comments

That strange empty feeling
when you’re lying in bed,
staring at the cieling, listening
to a Josh Ritter number.
Trying to find perspective in
darkness, meaning in nothing-
ness, and direction standing
at a dead end.
Not expecting, and not being
expected from.
Hollow and with a void, you
reflect on what life’s been
so far. On how much’ve
you changed, in the process
of resisting change.
The agony of being helpless,
the fear of the unknown,
the love that doesn’t die off.

Yet, no expectations.

There is another poem written by www.arjun1097.wordpress.com which he certainly did not want me to post here. But i am a bad girl, sailor boy!

So here it goes:

Today i’m stuck to my bed
with a fever, cough and cold,
covered in blankets
i feel weary and old.
 
The light seems too bright
and the voices seem louder,
they all crowd around and watch
and i just give em a cold shoulder.
 
They switch on the TV
and tell me to rest,
dont move, be still they say
i think that part’s the best.
 
No expectations
the silver lining,
and it all comes to me
including fine dining.

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