Unrequited love – VIII.

June 17, 2014 § 4 Comments


Today. I saw him today. My eyes. My eyes lingered carefully on the contours of his face. My mind. My mind told me to look away. My Heart. My heart wouldn’t let me and I turned to look at him again. After all this time, here, at the place I saw him for the very first time. I did not know if it was a mere co-incidence, or just fate begging me to give him another chance. And in all honesty, I did not care.  

Because today, from the very moment I saw those eyes, I rose in remembrance. No visions of the bad memories flashed before my eyes. It was beauty, it was peace. Today, after three years and a half, he still looked like the boy whose smile once took my breath away. The boy who sat next to me in class, who whispered sweet nothings in my ear. The boy who would hold my hand through boring lectures and hug me tight before he dropped me off home. The boy whose eyes sparkled with innocence, the boy, my boy, who could never do any wrong.  It all came back to me, a rush I hadn’t felt since the last time my lips touched his. The security his arms would give me, the joy I’d feel when he said something stupid just to cheer me up. Those endless conversations, hiding beneath my blanket just to talk to him for those extra minutes post-midnight. The way he’d say my name and make it sound like the most beautiful thing in the world. I remember the way his nose would turn red every time I told him I loved him. How he was everything, every minute of my every day.  

And then one day, it all changed. He unleashed a monster, who had forgotten how to touch his woman with love. Whose mouth knew only swear words, loving arms that now became a prison I’d struggle to get out of. It all came back. The memories. And the bad, like a tsunami, washed away the good.  Today. I saw him today. And even when my eyes couldn’t look away, and my heart couldn’t walk away, I did. Because I was stronger. Because he made me stronger. He made me out of a silly naïve girl. And despite all his faults, he loved me, once. Goodbyes were due. I picked up pace, walked away smiling, and did not turn around. What was gone, was gone. Never forgotten, but peaceful. There was closure in remembrance.  

Author: Sienna Jones Compilations of my Sorry Past. 2011.



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