Rant.

August 30, 2013 § 3 Comments

She feels hollow and empty

at places she didn’t know

existed inside of her.

The wound on her soul

is itchy and won’t let her be.

Her mind is full of questions

he would never answer.

Doubts, that appear out of

nowhere like the clouds

she saw lying down under

the naked skies with him.

Moonless nights haunt

her reality as she misses him.

She knows that she’s lost

an irreplaceable part of

her self to him.

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That Night.

August 28, 2013 § 11 Comments

I tried to gauge you.
Your words, your
gestures, your acts.
But i only got the shell,
the fancy shell you live in.

I couldn’t get any deeper
than the surface.
The outside
The wall
The pretenses.

Until that moment the
other night when your
silence told me that you are
scared to lose me
too.
I never loved you more
and never would love
you less in the future.

In that moment, i
understood you for always.

दस्तक

August 24, 2013 § Leave a comment

जब काँपती हुई उंगलियों से

तुमने मेरा हाथ थामा था

और मुस्कुरा के आँखों से

मुझे अपनी रूह की और पुकारा था,

मेरी धडकनों ने धड़कना बंद कर दिया

और मैने पल भर में सदियों के सपने देख लिए

बिना सोचे बिना जाने ही

मन ही मन हमारी दास्तान-ऐ-इश्क़ लिख डाली,

तुम चले जाओगे, जानती थी मैं

फिर भी मैं पगली, मैं दीवानी

तुम्हें अपने हाथों की लकीरों में बसाकर

रात भर दरवाज़े पर दस्तक की आस में सोइ नहीं|

Help me, maybe?

August 18, 2013 § 13 Comments

A mountain to climb
The muscles to do it
Undefeatable will power
The urge to get to the top
But i lost my map
And i cant find it
Will you help me find my way?

Free.

August 12, 2013 § 21 Comments

Working through my irrationalities
examining them to see if I’m worth it
as he ponders over my words and failures.

I put away my historic details
do not let them cluster inside me
clear my head, my heart.

So that I can make room for you
Your newness, your thoughts
so that you turn the key of my
self-created prison and set me free.

Layer.

August 8, 2013 § 4 Comments

Layer by layer you took who i was.
Every word you spoke,
every sly tweet you wrote,
every time you touched;
something new came out of me.

A layer that i didn’t know existed.

Layer by layer you gave me all that was yours.
A new meaning to life,
cheeks that can’t stop blushing,
the intimacy;
added something to me.

A layer that made me all your’s.

Guest Post: Mark Miranda.

August 6, 2013 § 3 Comments

COINCIDENCE

I was supposed to travel to Mangalore. I took a train and got down at the train station and was wondering what to do next. I needed to take a bus to my destination. I didn’t know the regional language. English didn’t work much and I didn’t know the route. I managed to ask directions and they didn’t understand me as much as I didn’t understand them.

I got a bus that appeared to be going in that direction. Got a seat near the driver. It was a parallel seat with place for 6 or more people. A kind lady offered me the seat next to her. There were 5 people sitting and it could accommodate me in.

I looked around and I was like a foreigner in my own native. The women and the men were staring at this guy who is sitting so lost here in the front. I tried telling the conductor the destination I needed to go and I shot 3 different names hoping that at least one would get me where I wanted to go. That seemed to confuse him more and it seemed that I was booking tickets for three different people going to three different destinations. I decided to settle with the name that appeared more familiar with him and I thought I would see what to do from there. The ticket clicked. I sat quietly for the remainder of the bus. Looked at Google Maps and got a fair idea I was moving in the right direction but I didn’t know the exact stop to get down. And the bus stops are too far as this was an express bus that stopped at limited stops. So, if i did get down at the wrong stop, it would mean a very long walk in a direction that i wasn’t quite sure and it could really get me lost. On top of it, the bus conductors have the habit of shouting out the destination and the major stops. So I used to jump up every time thinking my destination has come. But in fact, it was where the bus was supposed to go and the stop was supposedly to be 30 kms away.

Sat for another half an hour and decided to do what I do best. Observe. Talking with the conductor didn’t seem to make much headway as I didn’t speak Kannada and he didn’t understand Konkanni too well. The bus that I was travelling had two entrances. People kept pouring in from both ends and shouting out the place they wanted to go to. It was extremely confusing at first. A parallel seat facing the driver that seated 6 or more people. And then the normal seating arrangement of the first three rows reserved for ladies behind the driver. There was a massive engine with some parcels and boxes.

Normally, drivers accept the parcels to be delivered to a particular stop. The parcels are nicely wrapped in tape with the address sitting clearly on the top. And now there was just one box left on the engine. It was shapeless but I could read it.

My eyes gleamed suddenly as I realized the last part of the address was the exact stop where I had to get down. I read the top part. It was a printed slip. The first part of the address was to some shop. The building name below it seemed familiar. My eyes jumped out, it was the exact same building I was to go. What a stroke of luck. The conductor after some time picked up the parcel and I felt he was actually picking my hand to guide me the way.

He saw me eyeing the parcel and wondered what was going on in my head. He readied to give the parcel. The bus slowed. I shot out like a cat from the bag. I got down and right in front of me was the building I had to go to. Coincidence. Maybe.

My family was waiting for me. It was a reunion of sorts. I had not seen any of these uncles and aunts, their children ever. It was the first time that I would be meeting this set of relatives. And it was a joyous reunion of sorts. Later my mum tells me that it was a coincidence some relatives turned up as my mum herself was able to invite a limited set of relatives as she didn’t know the exact address of all of them and neither did she have all of their contact numbers. The one’s who came along were told by word of mouth by other relatives. And they had happened to be all together at the church after mass and the word spread and they all came home. They had been waiting for me and they hadn’t even started when I reached.

I didn’t know the language. I didn’t know the area. I didn’t know the way. I must have had an angel guiding me. And if it wasn’t for a plain old parcel with the exact same address of my destination maybe I would reached someplace else and be absolutely lost. This incident happened around eight years back roughly and I had my Nokia N 73 ME which wasn’t even a smart phone like the one’s we have these days. The distance traveled by me in that bus alone was more than 30 kms.

It turned out to be a tiring journey but a joyous reunion which was more unexpected as I didn’t know that we had invited so many relatives and their families. It lasted an entire week. And maybe, that is for some other day. I hope to write more and write soon.

Coincidence….

Or was it more…

About Mark:

Mark is a wonderful person i know via Twitter. He writes amazingly well on his blog here. Go follow!

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