an honest confession.

December 29, 2012 § 116 Comments

i have something to admit. it has nothing to do with how i screwed up my life this gone year, or how i have big plans for the new year’s eve. nothing of that sort.

i admit i am ashamed to be an Indian.

ashamed to belong to a city where women are gang-raped, and have a steel rod shoved inside their vagina; before they are thrown off a moving bus.

a city where throwing acid on a girl who has rejected a local goon’s love  for her is as common as the sun rising in summers.

where women are objectified and are molested in broad daylight. daily.

ironically, i also belong to the same country who worship their Goddess’s in the form of Durga, Parvati and Saraswati.

the ones who are reading this and are Indian, are perhaps feeling the same indignation and anger as i do. the ones who are not Indian, contrary to the other posts of my blog, trust me; i am NOT that strong to narrate the incident. it gives me goosebumps.

when a Bin Laden does a 9/11 on the USA, an Obama makes sure that his countrymen are done justice to. sadly, we don’t have an Obama. not even close. we have masked politicians who prefer hiding in their stone houses, than assuring their own people that they will be taken care of.

but what we do have is the youth of my nation. kids, who are politically aware; women who know when to raise an alarm; students who can stare back at the Police in  the eye. we can, and will change the nation. they might break our bones with a lathi charge or soak our ideas with a water cannon or even tear apart our dreams with tear gas shells; but that will NOT stop us.

we will pave our way to change. so that next time, a part of me does not die when i watch news on the national television. so that i can look my daughter in the eye confidently when she leaves home for college. so that we, the fairer sex, stop submitting to anything that makes us lower our dignity.

so that there isn’t another Nirbhaya in my country.

#nirbhaya: the unafraid one.

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§ 116 Responses to an honest confession.

  • boomiebol says:

    Permission to share on twitter… Thanks!

  • Basho Barr says:

    This horrible story has had quite a bit of coverage here in the UK as well. It is really disturbing and it really does feel like an attack on all women and designed to send a deliberate message to try and push women back “in their place”. It’s great to see you out on the streets, demanding respect, change and justice. I could equally well be ashamed to be a man, but I have no common ground with such men. They only worship violence, power, ignorance, greed and hatred. Every woman is a sister and a mother. Without them there is nobody, it is so obvious. I wish you great strength in your struggle. Respect and equality for all!

    • Archana says:

      I realized this indeed is a nation specific problem. Men in the UK and USA and most of the Western countries respect women far more than Indians do. And the ones who do rape or molest, are atleast are kept a track of. Doesn’t happen in India.
      Lack of political will, and the fact that our Police intimidate the women more than anything else.
      Thanks for the support.

  • Wonderfully written. Archana, I adore you. You know this. Your love pours out….you are a true Indian woman. You women are fully of culture, tradition, and beauty. I feel so sad for this girl….so sad for her family. Praise god she is in utter peace now. Thank god.

  • Harry says:

    I have just put a post up about the rape case, i hope the young and the woman keep protesting to get things changed.

    I put this on twitter.

  • DaPoet says:

    Over the last few years Indian men have clearly become second class citizens as law after law has been passed on behalf of the feminists limiting the rights and freedoms of Indian males. Today unfaithful Indian wives abuse the marital endowment laws to brutally harass, emotionally rape, financially rape and abuse their partners and in laws. And about a year or so ago an Indian male was beaten and thrown off a train when he accidently entered the women’s only car. In light of the war being waged on Indian males on behalf of the feminists and the silent average woman. It should come as no surprise that some men will strike back in wanton violence.

    • Archana says:

      You do realise sir that raping a woman is the worst thing that could possibly happen to her, right?
      Its easier for you to judge us, because you’re a man.

      If your wife or partner does not satisfy you in any sense of the word, you are entitled to look for love outside the confines of your own house; and not be tagged as a slut or a whore.
      If you beat your wife, you’re macho. If she strikes back in defense, she’s a bitch.
      If you have an affair, it’s out of a need. If she has one, she’s unfaithful.

      And trust me, a dog is more faithful than the average Indian male. These are a few incidents you quote that perhaps you remember. If i started writing down the reported rapes and cases of harassment against women, you’d be neck deep in guilt for writing that comment here.

  • DaPoet says:

    Reblogged this on Until The Twilight and commented:
    Over the last few years Indian men have clearly become second class citizens as law after law has been passed on behalf of the feminists limiting the rights and freedoms of Indian males. Today unfaithful Indian wives abuse the marital endowment laws to brutally harass, emotionally rape, financially rape and abuse their partners and in laws. And about a year or so ago an Indian male was beaten and thrown off a train when he accidently entered the women’s only car. In light of the war being waged on Indian males on behalf of the feminists and the silent average woman. It should come as no surprise that some men will strike back in wanton violence.

  • inkdamage says:

    It amazes me how this has had nearly no coverage in America. A few independent news sites, I’m sure. Sadly, right now it makes me ashamed to be American.

  • johncoyote says:

    Some issues must not be allowed anywhere. Rape is one of them. We are raised by woman and all men should respect and love woman. Rape is a crime. The woman of India must stand their ground.

  • Aakanksha says:

    Her injuries have injured the entire womanhood which is far away from any healing heart cries everytime I remember the braveheart..I wish that she sees a better world as we let her go .. 😦

  • Powerful, powerful post. I live in America and have been following the story daily. It is being reported here. I am also reading about the young, and the women, standing up against this. I am horrified by what this woman (and others) have endured. The shame belongs to the perpetrators of such horrendous and violent acts. They are evil, and that is not your ethnicity.

  • woah… i knw it’s all so terrible :(((
    U know I had dreams of going to Delhi next year and study in the top colleges for my graduation, and now slowly, those dream are turning into nightmares, 😦
    i hate this country.
    please check out my blog too. i have done two article on this and am trying to gather support. thanks.:(

  • I feel exactly the same way you expressed it over here. But, there is always a hope, a scope for improvement and I look forward to that comfortable and safe place for women to feel secure in any place they live or go to.

  • soumyav says:

    And I agree completely!

  • Don says:

    Well spoken Archana. I hope the outrage expressed in India will gather together the same response in those places throughout the world where women have to suffer this kind of shocking and frightening abuse and death. I just think of our own country South Africa and what so many women have to go through here. Thank you for your words.

  • Dienna says:

    Thank you for posting this. I’ve heard about these rapes and it upsets me greatly that women are that low in the eyes of these scummy creeps. Things have got to change.

  • DaPoet says:

    The worst thing that is done to a man is to be raped of his children, home and financial resources in family court on behalf of an unfaithful wife. Which is something that is done to thousands of men on a daily basis in family courtrooms all over the world. Until women stop raping the men in their lives my empathy for women will remain switched off and you’ll just have to live with it.

    • Archana says:

      See frankly, I think you’re getting a sexist here.
      I agree women do that too. But that’s a rare case scenario. Especially if we’re talking about India. I mean women literally worship their man here.
      Yet, there is domestic violence and martial rape and the men eventually rape their own daughters. Study a little about the country and the background before passing such statements sir.

      • DaPoet says:

        RE: Especially if we’re talking about India. I mean women literally worship their man here.


        The emotional and financial rape of men and fathers that you claim to be rare are daily occurrences through the USA, England, Australia, India, Sweden and many more countries. Their stories can be found all over the internet for those willing to take the time to look for and read them. Their pain will be uppermost in my mind the next time I see a daughter of Cain – the biblical character in the book of Genesis who slew his own brother – sitting on the side of the highway because her car broke down as I drive by and leave her to her fate

    • Harry says:

      Its the likes of you and your comments that seem to bless what these men do, instead of helping women fight against these scum bag men, they are the lowest of the low.

      just like this young girl Shabnam, 16, was gang raped by eight men from her village. Her attackers filmed the assault on their mobile telephones. when her father found out he killed himself.

      According to the latest government figures, a woman is now raped in India every 20 minutes.

    • ruleofstupid says:

      You should be utterly ashamed. To deliberately use the term ‘raped’ to describe having money taken from you in court is beyond disgusting. The physical violation of rape is a horror that pales any of the pathetic, sulky examples you give into insignificance.
      I am appalled that there is any man in the world who could be as divisive, short-sighted and misogynist in the 21st century as you have been on this post.
      You and the ideas you put forward are a sickness and a blight and nothing more.

  • A strong insightful message…and worldwide, women are more times than not, unless they have money or power, degraded, and thought of as less than men… tools to be used! May the New Year bless us with less horrible atrocities and more good to all especially women and children! God bless you and much love to you always my dear sister!

  • DaPoet says:

    Harry I do not bless nor condone what these men did nor will I condemn them or raise a finger to stop them as long as the daughters of Cain and white knights like yourself continue to stab their fellow brothers in the back.

  • DaPoet says:


    The daughters of Cain always have and will continue to lie about rape as long as the sons of Cain like yourself continue to let them get away with their false accusations. How can you look at yourself in the mirror knowingly defending those who promote putting to death unborn children? Have you, indeed, no sense of shame or moral obligation to your fellow brothers?

  • ruleofstupid says:

    Hi Archana – I think women gaining (at least) parity in politics and society is vital if we are to heal the (male) disorder in our world – and that this attack is both awful and a symbol for something still worse, deeply entrenched in our world. Your words and actions are vital.
    I have rarely been made so angry as I have by the words of DaPoet and salute your ability to remain civil. Unbelievable.

  • Yoshiko says:

    Horrible news. 😦
    I like your honesty and your hope and willingness to stand up for justice. 🙂

  • I totally agree with you. I have never felt more guilty of being born a woman until now 😦 It was shameful what happened, especially seeing our ministers do nothing but stare while young women and kids were being lathicharged at India Gate for trying to ask for justice.

  • This is something a friend of mine shared with all the women he knew and I feel every woman has a right to hear this…
    “To all the women , I want to apologize to you.

    Because I don’t think you’ve heard it yet. And you need to.
    I apologize on behalf of all the men who stare, the men who strip women nude with their eyes inside lifts on a regular basis. I apologize for the men who justify such acts by pointing fingers at the clothes that women wear. I apologize for the police officer whose hungry eyes make you think twice about writing a complaint.

    But most of all, I apologize for the scarring trauma and pain my side of the sex has caused you.
    – From all the men .

  • Thank you for standing up for women and for justice. With shock and horror I have read of this so many times in so many countries, but this one tore at my heart so severely. My prayers are with you. thank you for leaving Depoets remarks so that all could see the ignorance of some.

  • iamforchange says:

    I read this on my phone yesterday and couldn’t comment… I am proud of you, you have no reason to be ashamed your country men perhaps as it seems that stepping up and doing the right thing somehow eludes them. I thank you for doing what you can and stepping up for the right thing. Thank you!

  • apoorva1992 says:

    Hi.. I know what you are going through right now. I have the same feelings. I am shocked, devastated, ashamed and angered. They said the world was going to end in 2012. they never said how. Now i believe they meant the end of the humanitarian factor amongst mankind.
    But I believe nirbhaya has given us a chance to change, to fight and to survive not surrender…
    Her death shall not go in vain if we continue this fight till the very end!!!

  • Its a shame that she had to go though all this. A billion other Indians like you and me hope that there will be a real CHANGE this time. Nirbahaya’s death shall not go in vain.

  • Ben Naga says:

    Shoulder to shoulder, sister. You know I have never treated you as any other than an honoured equal. Nor shall I.

  • Subhan Zein says:

    I am sorry for the tragedy, hopefully there’s something to learn for all of us. But please do not be ashamed of being an Indian. You have got the great Mahatma Gandhi, so there’s something to be proud of. 🙂

    Subhan Zein

  • drsuraiyanasim says:

    It’s horrifying what has happened… 😦
    But we will fight back ofcourse….we are too strong a force for change not to come.

  • Every time you start to feel this kind of shame, please direct your mind to the pride, admiration, humility, and love I carry for you, and for all the women of India – generations of warriors, survivors, and heros that WILL honored by the world

  • DaPoet says:

    Throughout this entire incident the young man who was with her and suffered a beating in the attack has been both ignored and forgotten. Why? Because he is considered to be disposable not just in India but in virtually every society throughout the world.

  • DaPoet says:

    Perhaps One Day

    What seems to
    have been forgotten is that there
    is a fate worse
    than rape – it is called death a fate
    that many men

    Have chosen to
    suffer in defense of women
    throughout the
    history of the human race since
    time immemorial

    Yet societies outrage
    is reserved for the benefit of women
    while men are required
    to sacrifice themselves or be labeled
    by society as cowards

    One can only
    hope that our society will one day come
    to regard the
    male gender as worthy of life instead of
    as disposable

    Copyright January 13, 2013 by Dabir Dalton

  • Kim Roberts says:

    courage to you, fearless one! will share…

  • Shashi Moore says:

    Hi Archana, I read your post and the comments, very interesting. Each of us have the notion that we are right. Nevertheless I love how you portray yourself as a women and not just as an Indian women. I am an Indian women living in southAmerica. In this part of the world female are exposed to almost similar atrocities, loss of another life as a result of domestic violence. I strongly believe it is not just up to the leaders and the politicians to bring about that change I do believe it is a struggle and requires a process that would bring about collective maturity in the cities of India and else where. Meanwhile lets pray for the paradigm shift. I am glad I stopped by. Continue to be the voice. Bravo!!

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