On marriage.

July 18, 2012 § 22 Comments

It is astonishing that, under the circumstances, marriage is still
legally allowed. If nearly half of anything else ended so
disastrously, the government would surely ban it immediately.
If half the tacos served in restaurants caused dysentery, if half the
people learning karate broke their palms, if only six percent of
people who went on roller coaster rides damaged their middle ears, the
public would be clamoring for action. Yet the most intimate of
disasters..happens over and over again.

~Lionel Tiger.

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§ 22 Responses to On marriage.

  • Ben Naga says:

    Lawyers and estate agents are probably doing an enormous amount of behind the scenes lobbying. πŸ˜›

  • Prashant says:

    First of all – marriage is an institution. It is a commendable stage in our lives which would certainly give us new hope, new longings, new strength and new perspective about everything life offers.

    Secondly – like in any relationship, be it of father-daughter, mother-son, bro-bro, bro-sis or sis-sis , the fundamental building blocks are of trust and respect. None of the two can me more or less than the other.

    Marriages don’t fail. People fail to live up to the sanctity of this institution. People would get married after 10yrs of knowing eachother and get divorced after 2yrs? Are you shittin me? You wanted something so real, special and pious as marriage to know the real person inside you or her? What the hell were you doing before it – enjoying blowjobs by her? Like it was your fundamental right !!

    Marriages don’t fail. People fail.

    • Archana says:

      Or people give up. Perhaps. My view on marriages is still distorted.
      Its not like we can’t do without em. True, they’re based on trust and respect. How do you know if you can trust the other person, even after years of living with him and giving him blowjobs?

      • Prashant says:

        The thing about trust is that it won’t just come naturally. It is a state of mind. You have to nourish this feel with the most careful of approach. You have to train your mind and soul to trust the other person.

        More than anything else, you have to first trust yourself that come what may, you are not going to do anything to break her trust.

        Or the simplest approach is to keep wanting for the reasons to not to trust and to do something wrong yourself because you think the other person is doing the same to you. Just lame excuses.

  • I have to agree with Prashant…marriage doesn’t fail, people do.
    My parents were married for almost 67 years, before my Mom passed away in February. My sister’s and I all have been married for over 2 decades, happily, so it is possible. Since I’m in my 50’s, my opinion is, nowadays, people just give up too easily, probably over silly things. Going into a relationship of living together takes compromise, understanding and trust, for starters…it saddens me to hear of so many divorces happening these days, however, if abuse is involved or other serious issues, then moving on is best…well, thanks for listening, Archana, I could go on and on….
    πŸ™‚

    • Archana says:

      The problem is with our generation Lauren, not with the institution. The institution is still as pure as it was when your parents had married. We, have given up on it.
      We change our minds and choices in a span of minutes. We dont know what commitment actually means. For us, its about living with someone, having good sex, paying half the bills. And when real issues come up, we prefer walking off em instead of sitting and facing them.

      In India, specifically, men run away more often than women. They’re reluctant to talk things out, it pricks their ego to even admit that they could’ve gone wrong somewhere!

      • I don’t remember how old you are, but you sound very wise! I also have to agree with many things you said, even though they’re negative to the current generation…do you think the progression of technology has taught younger people more about instant gratification and if things don’t work, buy new, rather than working hard to fix the problem? I believe it’s a big factor, not that there aren’t benefits (look at us blogging now :)), but where there are pros, cons seems to follow…let me know what your thoughts are, I’m interested in hearing your perspective~

        • It should read…cons “seem” to follow!

        • Archana says:

          I am 23 years of age, Lauren. πŸ™‚
          Sure there are cons too. Personally i think, marriage is a very pure institution. Add some loyalty and trust to it, and you have the perfect blueprint ready for life. The emotional support you get from someone you love beyond all reason, and the feeling that you have someone to go home to is unmatched. That, you cannot get from any of the other relationships.
          Most marriages fail because of ego hassles, i’ve noticed. When people think their ego’s far bigger than the love they feel for their partner, and all the unconditional support they get.

          Did i miss something?

  • vimal says:

    marriage is hard, because humans are fickle
    but it is a human institution to create order
    in that way, like most human endeavors, it is faulty.

  • bipolarmuse says:

    This gave me the chills. Being divorced 2 times already… it is certainly like a crime…

  • Valentina says:

    To really put in a fair parallel, half the marriages fall apart just as half the tacos would cause dysentery, because they are contaminated by the very people who eat them, and half the karate enthusiasts would break their palms because they wouldn’t really care about the pain, and roller-coaster riders would fall off because they chose not to buckle up. Don’t forget that divorces don’t fall from the sky, people do it to themselves and each other.

  • One matter is that we have to have a self identity not contingent on the presence or absence of anyone in or not in our lives. If marriage works then wonderful.

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